Saturday, January 1
i couldn't sleep.. was thinking abt what 2004 meant to me, and what 2005 will [hopefully] mean.
i don't think i can thank you girls enough for what you've shared with me.. this past year has been almost too meaningful to bear. i guess what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.. and teaches you more from hindsight than you could ever have imagined. one thing i learnt.. i'm a panicky, last minute studier who should file her notes up before major exams. hehh. thank ally for all the times you scanned and sent me notes. another thing i learnt.. it's far greater to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. i know we're parting [have parted] but what you leave behind has blessed me enough to get me through the coming days. i guess it feels more like a curse sometimes.. learning to love new friends, only to leave them when the road bends. but friends never say goodbye in their hearts.
as for what the new year will bring.. i haven't a clue. maybe sadness, maybe joy. maybe laughter, maybe tears. who knows.. fate spins on cruelly sometimes. well.. i'm hoping that i can make things better by sticking to my resolutions.. i want sweet seventeen to be even better than sweet sixteen.. but God, if that's not possible, i understand entirely. we cannot ask for more than the moon sometimes.. the sun burns too bright for us to bear. anyway. my resolutions. in this order.
1. draw nearer to God. [i feel like such a backsliding fool.]
2. get my priorities right. i really need to think and pray abt this, cos not being sure of my priorities has made some of this year pretty tough. i mean it's all right to say duty before self.. but which duty? duty to friends, to sch, to cca, to studies, and even to your own beliefs?
3. make a conscious effort to make time for my sec sch as well as pri sch friends. and try not to get too jealous when they start spending more time with future bfs/gfs and utterly ignore the rest of us. *scowls*
4. be a better student. 'nuff said.
5. learn to do chores faster and better. and complain less. especially regarding ironing. and figure out how to cook more dishes.
6. improve my handwriting. it's like chicken scratching. *shudders* esp now i'll be writing tons of essays. so write faster too.
7. maintain my weight. because it's getting increasingly harder to lose weight, so i might as well try to avoid putting any more on. this is thanks to ms wee, whom we met yesterday.. the wonderful chinese teacher informed me most cheerfully that i had put on weight. i couldn't find a proper reply in chinese.
8.
not fall for a guy. i will have to kill myself.
9. love myself. =)
happy new year everyone. i love you! *huggies* don't forget.. but don't go through life walking forward and looking backward either.. there will always be a special place in my heart just for you.
it must've been love.
1:02 am
xoxo
